I could have used a Pause button so many times this year. It’s been a hard one so far. There have been many moments where my brain can’t think of anything except, “Stop!” Stop the hospital visits. Stop the cancer. Stop the fear and anxiety and grief. Stop the contagion. Stop the kids growing up. … More Where’s the Pause Button?
I opened my eyes and about six inches in front of me was my little five-month-old girl, resting on her side, eyes closed, mouth slightly open as she gently breathed in and out. Both her arms were outstretched in front of her, her little hands folded onto each other. It looked like she was saying … More Baby Prayers
In August, a slimy, wiggling baby was placed on my chest as my husband stood beside me, a look of wonder and pride in his eyes. I had labored for seven hours — not that long for a first-time mom — but then, all of a sudden, here he was, our baby, alive in the … More Our First Conversation
We spread the old blanket across the floor and began unpacking heavy pieces from the cardboard boxes. Chad retrieved the necessary tools: a hammer, screwdriver, and power drill. I grabbed the instructions and started pulling out the first pieces of hardware from the small clear plastic bag. We were already tired but had two bed … More Preparations
I finished my last paper for the semester at 11 p.m. Monday night, one week before Christmas. It was due at midnight, and it was my fourth and final assignment from this long fall semester. This was my largest credit load yet, with three classes and my fellowship. Graduate school has been very rewarding — … More Look for the Light
The piece of wood is way too long — too long for my project and too long for me to manage under the sharp blade of a machine. Even if I could maneuver it over to the table saw, there is no way I can hold it up flat as it slides along the rotating … More The Building
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” L.M. Montgomery The air finally has a nip in it. It feels like fall, like October, finally not that we’re near the end of it. October is time for sweaters and boots and scarves. I love layering up my clothes to keep cozy. … More October
There’s noise all around me, conversations and the whirring of coffee machines and chairs scraping against a tile floor. I sit at a counter against a window, the city buzzing in front of me over the top of my laptop. I’m as at home here writing as I am at home in the quiet of … More What It Looks Like for Me to Write a Book
I pour some of the cloudy mixture over my scalp and begin scrubbing. There’s no satisfying lather to let me know I’ve covered and cleaned every inch of my hair, so I flex my fingers over and over again, massaging my scalp deeply, using my fingernails and rubbing my hair against the grain. I gave … More A Bit More Tangled
From where I sit at my wooden desk on the second floor of this sprawling office building, I can see the sky — not through a window, but through the octagonal skylight capping the atrium. What seemed like moments ago, the sky was blue, quintessential sky blue, with the kind of puffy clouds I’ve always … More The Washing
seek. follow. love. 