Last summer and into the fall, I’d been struggling with direction and purpose. I felt stagnant and stuck. I couldn’t figure out where life was headed, or shake the feeling that it was heading somewhere without me.
I’d been looking for a new job for a little while, because even though my job is good, I’ve been doing it for a while and I’m ready for something new. I even got a job offer back in June but it wasn’t the right fit for me. And then after that, I wasn’t really getting any more bites on my resume. It was wearing me down. Chad definitely noticed and when we talked about how it was affecting our marriage, I took that to heart.
So I decided to apply for grad school. I’d been considering that for some time but was never quite sure what to do or where to go. But after Chad had asked me to make some changes so that we could get back on track, I decided to act, and that decision was one I could make without waiting for other people to call me back about an application. Within two weeks of having our talk I had picked a program and scheduled myself for the GRE. For the next two weeks, I studied and took practice tests. After the test, I moved on to finding references, writing my application, and submitting all the paperwork. All the while I was still applying for jobs to no avail. And then…
And then I got an interview. And then I got accepted to grad school. And then I got a new position.
All this happened amidst other new projects and changes. We’re renovating our attic into a master bedroom/bathroom. I got involved with Trades of Hope. I started writing a book, instead of just talking about writing a book.
As 2016 rolled in, I was reeling from holiday projects and busy-ness and trying to wrap my head around everything that was going on already. This is going to be a year of changes, a year of grabbing hold of the reins and making things happen, a year of trying to keep up with life instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching it go by. It’s going to challenging and trying and exciting and exhilarating.
I imagine 2016 is going to be made up of days that are long and days that full and days that are too full. I imagine 2016 is going to be made up of days where it feels like too much change too quickly, days of what the hell was I thinking? I’m sure there will be tears and exhaustion and long nights, missteps and mistakes, falling short and falling apart.
But I imagine 2016 is also going to be made up of days that are amazing and new and refreshing. Full of learning and energy. Full of family and friends and new family and new friends. Full of travel and staying home, full of that’s enough and what else have you got for me? And I’m sure there will be celebrations and accomplishments, surprises and proud moments and milestones.
And I’m just going to roll with it all. (Or at least I’ll try.)
My hopes for 2016 are to roll with the changes, give myself slack and remember I’m learning, be gracious with myself and my people, and give myself the space to make it through all these transitions. Like any other year, there will be ups and downs, but unlike the last couple years, I think there will also be direction, decisions, steps forward. And I’m excited.
How about you? How is 2016 going to look the same as other years? How is going to look different?
jamie y. watkins 
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