jamie y. watkins

Category: Grief & Healing

  • How Do I Grieve You, Sister?

    How Do I Grieve You, Sister?

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    jywatkins
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    We lost my older sister to cancer in February, which now seems like a different time altogether. It is surreal to live without her. It feels like these three months have flown by — how have we gone on for so long without her here? And yet, because of the current circumstances, it also feels…

  • Psalm 3: Deliverance from on High

    Psalm 3: Deliverance from on High

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    jywatkins
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    1 Lord, how many are my foes!     How many rise up against me! 2 Many are saying of me,     “God will not deliver him.” 3 But you, Lord, are a shield around me,     my glory, the One who lifts my head high. 4 I call out to the Lord,     and he answers me from his holy mountain.…

  • Sunshine Too Bright

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    jywatkins
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    The very first time I got on an airplane, I flew from Newark Liberty Airport to Nice Côte d’Azur Airport in the south of France. The runways are as close to the Mediterranean Sea as an airplane should get.  The skies are clear blue, the air is warm, and the water glistens. It is the Azure…

  • I Lit Two Candles

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    jywatkins
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    I lit two candles for so much sorrow. I haven’t been able to pray because I don’t know how to ask God for anything beyond mercy. Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.  I lit one candle for those we’ve lost, those brought down, those left behind; And one candle for those who’ve taken, those who’ve…

  • I’m Scared Too

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    jywatkins
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    In one week, Chad and I will be getting on a plane and flying across the ocean to Europe, to France. We are so excited to revisit the beautiful Alsatian city where we studied abroad, where we began our romance ten years ago. We love France. And we watched with grief and sorrow and fear…

  • Illness Knows No Schedule

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    jywatkins
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    I was ready this year. Christmastime can be a whirlwind. I have this crazy tradition of editing together all my family’s photos and video clips to create DVDs for my sisters and brother of all their kids. It’s time consuming and I always create a schedule for myself to make sure I can get all…

  • Grief

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    jywatkins
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    I have a strange fascination with grief, probably coming from death being my biggest fear– death of someone I love, death of my husband, death for me. It’s somewhat unreasonable how afraid I am of death, considering I am a person who believes that this life is not the end, that there is more, and that it…

  • In Sickness and In Health

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    jywatkins
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    When I married Chad in 2009, his father’s prostate cancer was already diagnosed and treatment was underway. It’s been a long journey. For a while, there was much hope that maybe it was under control, but in December 2011, right around Christmas, we gathered as a family to hear the details of the cancer’s aggressive…

  • My Father-in-Law

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    jywatkins
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    I met my in-laws for the first time about six weeks after Chad and I had been dating. We were studying abroad together in France our junior year of college, and his family came over to visit for Christmas. I met the whole family at once: Chad’s parents, his older brother and sister, and his brother’s…